smallhobbit | Saying Sorry

Title: Saying Sorry
Fandom: Life on Mars
Rating: Pale Green Cortina
Word Count: 500 approx
Written for the 'Apology' challenge on 1973flashfic! As usual thanks to my beta

jinxed100
Summary: Sam has to apologise (more than once)

Sam waited miserably by the Cortina. He would apologise to Gene and then go home. Another apology that would be acknowledged, but wouldn’t heal the pain that had been caused.

He remembered when he’d been young. His mum had told him several times not to over wind the music box, but he had ignored her and one day it had broken. He had said he was sorry and she had said it was alright. It was the last thing his dad had given to his mum before he went away and she had been very quiet for the rest of the day. The young Sam had gone to his room that night, hugged his knees to his chest and cried until he fell asleep.

He remembered playing football when he was a constable. He’d been heading for the goal and despite shouts to him to pass the ball he’d been so sure he could score. Then he’d slipped, an opposition player had intercepted the ball and they’d lost the match. He’d apologised afterwards and they’d all said it could have happened to anyone, but no-one had told him which pub they were going to. Young men in their early twenties don’t cry tears, but in his room that night he cried inwardly.

And he thought of Maya and how he’d promised to take her out the night before he went on a three day conference. He’d worked late, trying to tie up various loose ends before he went away and so hadn’t had time. He’d brought her flowers and chocolates on his return and she’d said she understood, but the sadness in her eyes had told a different tale. DCIs don’t cry either inwardly or outwardly but it felt like there were tears in his head.

Tonight they’d been on a stake out following a tip-off. In the end Phyllis had radioed through to tell them that the two blaggers had obviously had too much Dutch courage and driven their car into a lamppost and were now both in hospital. Gene had complained at the total waste of time, but Sam had said it didn’t matter because he just liked the chance to spend some time alone with him. Gene had shot out of the car so fast he’d left the keys behind, so reluctantly Sam had had to wait for his return.

And now Gene was back.

Sam took a deep breath, “I’m sorry. I’m just tired. I shouldn’t have said ...”

Gene looked at him, “No, I’m the one who should be apologising. I didn’t know what to say so I bolted – wanted to give myself a chance to think of the right words. Still can’t find them, so maybe ...”

He held out his arms to Sam and then enfolded the younger man in a bear hug. In 1973 DIs are allowed to express their emotions and Sam sobbed on the Guv’s chest because this time the apology had made everything right.