Make Mine A Pint

[smallhobbit]

Title: Make Mine A Pint
By: thesmallhobbit
Prompt: 65. John, Lestrade or John/Lestrade; having that lovely well-deserved cold beer after a hot day full of work and annoying Holmeses. You know, maybe Mycroft spammed one of them with texts to get him to do something because he couldn't be arsed, maybe Sherlock was being annoying while they were trying to get the job done on some case, maybe both, maybe something else entirely.
Category: gen
Characters / pairings: John Watson, Greg Lestrade
Rating: PG
Warnings: No warnings, except for bad language
Summary: written for sherlockmas Sherlock's Summer Vacay
Author's notes: my thanks to fengirl for being my beta.

“That’s it!  I’ve had enough of your observations and how if only I was two steps up from a complete moron I could follow your deductions without having to ask questions all the time.”  John Watson stormed out of New Scotland Yard without a backwards look.

“But John, I need your help with measuring the angles of trajectory for the Blake case.  And we’ve run out of milk.”

“Get your own milk!  And don’t expect me back until late!”  John continued to march determinedly away from his flatmate.  He ignored the footsteps behind him and when he felt a hand on his shoulder, his muscles tensed as he forced himself not to punch the annoying git who had followed him.

“Hey, give me a break,” the familiar voice of Greg Lestrade said.  “I was going to suggest going for a drink.  I know a pub which does a decent pint if you fancied one.”

John relaxed a bit.  “Not sure I’ll be a great companion.”

“Don’t worry about that.  I’m quite happy to listen to you letting off steam, whilst I enjoy a beer or two.”

Greg led the way to the pub and once inside bought two pints.  He carried them to a corner table and the two of them sat and enjoyed the cold beer in silence.

Having drunk the first half, John put his glass on the table and grinned at Lestrade.  “I needed that.  I don’t know what it was, I can normally put up with Sherlock’s behaviour, but today he just seemed completely impossible.”

“Probably the heat.  Everyone’s been tetchy this week, even the DC in our section who’s renowned for being even-tempered has been snapping at people for the last couple of days.  And it’s not as if Sherlock is the easiest person at the best of times.”

“Very true.  And today he’d experimented with the cereal packets, leaving cornflakes all over the kitchen floor which I walked on; sent me to try various hardware stores for a particular type of screwdriver, when it turned out he’d already got one in his pocket and finally, finally when I think he’s finished the case he gets me to walk across the Albert Bridge, along the river and back across Chelsea Bridge, whilst he times whether he could take a cab on this side of the river, strangle someone and hide the body.  Do you want another pint?”

“I wouldn’t object.”

They continued to discuss Sherlock’s annoying traits and drink beer until John felt he could face his flatmate again without being tempted to either punch or strangle him.  He thanked Greg for the evening and made his way back to Baker Street. 

#####

The following Friday John’s phone pinged.  <<Fancy a drink? I could really do with one. GL>>

<<Sure. Same pub as last Friday? JW>>

<<Sounds good. Will see you in 15 minutes>>

By the time Greg reached the pub John had already got the beers in and was sitting at the table they’d had the week before. 

“Cheers, I needed that,” Greg said once he’d drunk over half the glass.

“Do you want to tell me about it?”

“I’ve just had a whole day of Mycroft Bloody Holmes.  First thing this morning I was summoned to the Chief Super’s Office because there’s a bit of a problem that needs sorting out discreetly.  So muggins here has to go and have a quiet chat with a couple of people at the Admiralty.  Naturally they can tell me nothing of any use and when I report back with this information, Mycroft says ‘I’m sure if you were to return and make enquiries of X, Inspector, you would find you were on the right track.’  Back I go, with the same result as before.  Rinse and repeat with Y.  I try to explain to the Chief Super that I’m getting nowhere, but because Whitehall are leaning on him, he tells me to have a word with Z.”

Greg stopped in order to finish his drink.

“Fancy another one?” he asked.

“Yes, please,” John grinned.  “I think this is going to be a three pint problem.”

Greg snorted and went to buy the next round.

“Anyway,” he continued, “by this time all I’m feeling is hot and bothered and we’re clearly making no progress.  And then the bastard phones up, thanks us for all our help and says that it’s been solved.”

“With you being none the wiser?”

“Correct.  And I’m left with the distinct feeling that I was being used as a decoy, whilst Mycroft Holmes did his own investigating.  I can’t decide which Holmes brother annoys me the most.  I was almost wishing that I was dealing with Sherlock rather than his brother by the end of it.”

“Ha!  The only thing I can guarantee was that had the positions been reversed you would have been thinking you’d be better off with the other brother.  My round I believe?”

#####

A week later John settled down on the settee and picked up the paper.

“I thought you said you were going out,” Sherlock remarked.

“Nothing to go out for.  I was planning to watch the telly.”

“Hmmm.”

Sherlock picked up his violin and started playing a few arpeggios.

“Do you have to?” John asked.

“I haven’t played for a while.  I need some practice.”

He continued with the arpeggios, some of which sounded slightly off key.

“You could practise in your bedroom.”

“The acoustics are better in here.”

“Okay.  I give up.  I’m going to the pub.  I’ll see you later.”

When John left the flat he had no particular destination in mind.  There were a number of pubs he liked in the area, and although the day had again been hot, it had cooled down by the evening, so he decided to walk for a while before choosing which one to go to.  Without really thinking about it he found he had walked to the pub where he’d met Greg for the last couple of weeks.

He walked inside to be greeted by “Fancy seeing you here.”  And then he heard Greg call out to the barman, “Make that two pints, please, mate.”

 “I see our usual table’s free.”  Greg indicated with his head as he picked up the two glasses.

They walked over to the table and sat down.

“So what brings you here?” Greg asked.

“221B’s version of Nigel Kennedy.  I had been thinking of watching the match but there was no chance of that.  What about you?”

“I received a phone call from Mycroft’s assistant, Anthea, or whatever she’s called.  She said his lordship was on his way to the Yard to see the Chief Super again and would probably call in on me if I was still in my office.  I felt a sudden urge to leave immediately.”

John laughed.  “Another pint?”

“Yes, please.  Um, actually, if you still want to watch the match, what about coming back to my place?  I’ve got some cans in the fridge and we could pick up a takeaway.  That’s if you’d like to ...” 

“Yeah, I’d like that very much.”

Shortly after the two men left the pub, Sherlock received a phone call.  The female voice at the other end said “The subjects have been seen leaving together.  We may consider Phase 1 a total success.”