The Pirate

[smallhobbit]

Fandom: Sherlock bbc
Rating: G
Characters:   Sherlock Holmes, John Watson, Inspector Lestrade,
Word Count: 485
Note: flawedamythyst wrote The Dartmoor Pirates and kindly said I could write the sequel.  With thanks to my beta jinxed100
Warning: Pure crack

Even once they had returned from Dartmoor Sherlock continued to bewail the fact that the pirates hadn’t invited (or more accurately begged) him to join them.  They now had a flag with the skull and crossbones hung up in the living room.  It was positioned so that as soon as anyone walked into the room they couldn’t avoid being confronted by it.  John had argued that it was likely to put potential clients off, to which Sherlock had responded that Lestrade hadn’t seemed to mind.

It was probably that Lestrade hadn’t paid much attention to the flag, since he had only called round to ask Sherlock’s help with a case in a flat in Greenwich.  As soon as they had inspected the flat Sherlock had declared the case “boring” and walked off, shouting over his shoulder that “it was clearly the brother, why was it not obvious”.  It took John ten minutes to find Sherlock, who was coming out of a gift shop with a pirate hat in a plastic bag.

Sherlock had even mused about getting a parrot, which he could teach to say phrases like “Pieces of eight”, but Mrs Hudson had overheard him and, along with telling him she was his landlady, not his zookeeper, had informed him that at the first hint of feathers she would be bringing a black bag to the kitchen and throwing away everything she found that didn’t belong there, including the parrot if it had the misfortune to be in the room at the time.

Then, when John was in the supermarket grabbing some shopping on the way home from work, he spotted a child’s toy boat and added it to his trolley.  When he reached the flat Sherlock was out, so he hid the boat in his bedroom.  The following morning he left it on the kitchen table and went to work.

He met Lestrade in the pub early that evening and after they’d had a pint he said “I was planning on grabbing a pizza.  Do you want to come back to Baker Street to help me eat it?”

“Yeah.  Will Sherlock mind?”

“Captain Holmes was talking about hard tack and weevils last night, so that leaves the pizza for you and me.  And with any luck the beers will still be in the fridge.”

When they got back to the flat they could hear noises from the bathroom and assumed Sherlock was in the process of conducting an experiment.  They therefore ignored him and went to the kitchen to find the beers.

“If you haven’t got any grog, I’ll have a beer too,” a voice called out.

John grabbed a third bottle and headed towards the bathroom.  He opened the door and started to laugh.  Lestrade peered over his shoulder to see what had caused his reaction.  There, sitting in the bath, was Sherlock wearing his pirate hat and playing with his new boat.